Running
by anonymous2234
Summary: What if Rukia had died in the war? How would Ichigo reacted months later? A short from Ichigo's perspective on his grief over the loss of someone very important to him.


**I would recommend listening to the song by Aurora called "Murder song ( 5,4,3,2,1)" It was what I was listening to when I came up with this idea and continuously as I wrote. The inspiration came from The Flash season 3, well the second last episode. This song was played during that last scene. This is a very sad, very broken Ichigo in this short. I hope you like it regardless of the sad tone. I apologize for any grammatical errors. I wrote this pretty fast.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH OR ITS CHARACTERS.**

* * *

 _I run_

 _It begins to rain_

 _It isn't enough to wash the pain_

 _But I keep going._

 _For if I stop_

 _I will no longer be in control_

 _And I will lose..._

 _Everything_

It has been four months since the end of the War against Ywach. Four months since I lost someone dear to me. I feel nothing anymore. I won the War but I lost the battle. I lost someone whom I didn't, no, I **couldn't** think of living on without. I let out a small sigh and my eyes lifted slowly to the sky.

Lately it's been cloudy, rain is the only type of weather that has covered our city; seems fitting.

I walk silently. There is nowhere I go specifically. No grave for me to visit, no mark left on this earth. She's just _gone._ It's like how it would have been when I first met her. Had I not gone after her, this is how it would feel.

My school bag was hung over my shoulder as I walked. I felt the chilling breeze as it was preparing to pour. The air smelled clear and crisp.

I ran my hand through my hair absentmindedly. As I passed by a car, I caught my own reflection in the window. My eyes held no life in them, I looked broken. I _felt_ broken. Turning away I continued walking. It was a stage of grief where you are in a chasm, forever falling with no end and even if you are falling, you no longer care.

At some point I realized I had stopped. I just stood in one spot, staring at the ground. I was defeated. _Pathetic._ A voice cut through my train of thought

"Kurosaki-kun!" I turned slowly to the voice. She stopped gazing upon me.

"Inoue." Was all I could say. She smiled hesitantly, then began

"I saw you walking home alone and I thought we could walk together." I nodded my head understanding but,

"Ah, I'm sorry Inoue. I'm not going home." She had a worried look on her face

"Where are you going?" I shrugged

"I'm not entirely sure." Her eyes met mine. She frowned slightly

"Kurosaki-kun, your eyes...?" I nodded again

"Yea, I've had sleepless nights as of late. Just tired..." She smiled as though my conformation was sufficient. Inoue wouldn't see. Only _she_ could.

"Why all the sleepless nights?" I froze. I didn't want to say, I didn't want to be reminded. A raindrop landed on my cheek. The rain was falling, one small drop at a time.

"Sorry Inoue, I've got to go." She reached out and grasped my sleeve. I flinched

"Kurosaki-kun...?" She sounded worried.

"Inoue, please let go." She shook a little at her grasp. The drops of rain began to come in more frequent spans

"Is this about _**her**_?" That was all it took for me to pull my arm harshly out of her grasp. She gasped slightly and stumbled back a bit. My arms were at my side. One in a fist the other gripping my school bag straps.

"Leave _**her**_ out of this." I responded dangerously. Inoue, though nervous, continued

"Kurosaki-kun please... It's been four months Kuchiki-san wouldn't wan-"I bolted, throwing my school bag away as I ran. The rain... the rain came. It poured harder than ever before

I heard Inoue yell as I ran. But I could care less.

I need to run

I need to go

But there is nowhere for me to go.

My eyes are hidden from the sky. All I am watching is the ground beneath me

I see it all in my head

" _RUKIA!" I am running_

 **I am always running**

 _I run as she held him in place, a small content smile graced her beautiful features_

 **Always running**

 _She smile gently towards me as Ywach cuts her down and my tenshou hits him_

 **But for the first time**

 _She slowed him down for me to send a weakening blow_

 **The only time it mattered**

 _I catch her as she falls_

 **I was late**

 _She dies telling me that she knows I will win_

 **I lost that day**

 _She believed in me till the end_

 **I lost everything that day**

 _With every ounce of her power she gave me an opening and now she's gone_

 **So I run**

 _My world stops, time stops._

 **And I keep running**

 _I win nothing_

 **Because if I don't**

 _Because today I lost everything,_

 **I will lose everything,**

 _ **Everything**_

I stumbled and fell onto my hands and knees, scraping them both. I looked slightly to my left finding myself surrounded by stone with writing engraved in them. I managed to end up in the cemetery. This was no haven to me, it was hell.

There is no stopping the tears as they fall. My cries echo throughout the empty cemetery and clashed with the thunder as it roared throughout the city. The rain continuously beats hard onto my back. I am broken and the world can see it.

I can't tell how much time has passed. It doesn't matter, not anymore. I felt my arms shake. My body feels heavy as I lower closer to the ground. My hands clench into fists.

I close my eyes, with tears flowing down my face. Only in my thoughts is she here

 _I run_

 _Because if I stop_

 _She will truly disappear_

 _And I will have nowhere to go_

 _..._

 _I run_

 _To search for her,_

 _If I stop_

 _She is truly dead._


End file.
